That's not a problem. I don't rate the fanfics I read for
solely their punctuation and grammar/spelling.
Anyway, it's very well written, considering your 1st
language is not english (mine's obviously not, either), and
improving takes time. My advice to you is; Keep writing.
Even though it's bad, keep writing. You'll get better and
better for each fanfic you write (by the way; faved)

Thanks for the comment Wolflux. Although, I'm very sorry for
the grammar and punctuation!

I'm from
Vietnam, that is why I have this problem. English is
actually not my 1st language.
I'm very sorry....

I've tried to fix the empty space. But, I
can't!!
I wrote my story from microsoft word.

again....sorry for this issue.

Hmm, I don't quite know what to say, but what you've done so
far is good. However, you have a very annoying setup on your
fanfic, and too much empty space. There are not many
descriptions, but fact-wise, it's very good.
You could
work on your grammar a bit, and you have certain points in
punctuation, and spelling, which you need to improve a bit.
Overall a good story, with some minor flaws, and a good
storyline.
I'll give it a 6/10 rating.