causing it to fall off of him. He bit onto the back of its neck as it stood up and wrenched it. A wet cracking sound came, and the creature went limp. As Balto let it fall to the ground, its body burst into flames and vaporized, leaving nothing. Then, both of the others attacked him at once. It was all he could do to avoid getting wounded, and he knew he would have to kill another to stand a chance. One of them bit his leg, pulling him to the ground, and fear, swelling in his heart as they began biting him, disrupted his reflexes and thinking ability. However, he knew that he faced certain death if they got the upper hand. He kicked the third creature in the stomach, stunning it. The first creature prepared to bite Balto’s throat, and he rolled out of the way, biting upward onto the third creature’s throat. Red light spilled out, and it screamed and died as Balto stood and flung it away, its body burning into nothing as it flew through the air. The first creature jumped on Balto, and they bit and rolled across the ledge. Soon, Balto got on top of the creature and began pounding its head into the ground, over and over and over, hearing the ugly sound of cracking bone. He backed away from it, and it stood up, breathing hard, thin red beams radiating from cuts all over its temples. It groaned, the noise building to a ghastly yell, and it exploded into shredded black tatters, which flew away in a sudden gust of wind. Balto fell to the ground, his terror overcoming him, and he breathed rapidly, seeing shapeless red forms with horrible teeth and eyes flying above and around him, fixing him with wicked gazes in the awful darkness that still hung. “LET ME OUT!” he cried. “HELP! PLEASE!”
Then, as Balto was about to panic, preparing to shut his eyes against the phantoms, a blue light appeared, a soothing aura that banished the darkness around it. Although he was still afraid, the light brought some comfort to him. It grew brighter and slightly larger, coming towards him slowly enough that it wouldn’t frighten him. Out of it walked a wolf, but not just any wolf. It was a white wolf, with a caring face that wore a gentle look, a face that Balto knew. He reached a paw out slowly, absolutely stunned. “Don’t vanish,” he whispered imploringly. He touched the wolf’s face. “Mom?” he said, his voice barely audible. She smiled and nodded. “I am Aniu, your mother,” she said. “Balto, my son, I love you, and I will help you.” “Mom…it’s dark. They won’t leave.” He was trembling, and Aniu kissed him, running her paws over his head. “They are not there.” “But I see them…” He began to sob, and Aniu cuddled him. “Sshh,” she said. “Close your eyes, Balto.” He did so, and could still see her face, but nothing else. “Now open them,” she said. He opened his eyes slowly, expecting to see the haunting specters again, but there was nothing except his mother, and the darkness faded. “You were merely seeing things,” she whispered. “Those things that attacked you were visions, nothing more. You are not even wounded.” Balto realized she was right; he felt no pain, and there was not a scratch on him. He sighed with relief and smiled. “What about you?” he asked. “I am still just seeing things?” “No. I am here.” “Thank you,” he said. Aniu kissed him again. “You are welcome.” “I love you.” He kissed her cheek affectionately, and she smiled. “I love you, too. Now, you have a journey to continue.” She stood up and disappeared slowly. “I am proud of you, my son,” she whispered. Balto smiled and closed his eyes, feeling her presence until she was gone. “I wonder if anyone will believe me when I tell them about this,” he thought. “Jenna will, I bet.” He got up, his strength renewed, and made his way over the mountain, finally stopping for the night. His heart was desperate to continue, but his body refused too strongly. He entered a small cave and lay down, sighing. He began to fall asleep instantly, even though his mind was still so troubled about Aleu. As he started nodding off, he heard an echoing voice that wasn’t much louder than the soft breeze moaning in the mouth of the cave. “Why does your soul weep?” it said. “What have you to feel such pain for?” Balto spoke softly, half-awake. “I’ve driven my daughter away from home,” he said. “I’m grieving because of it. I’m following her, trying to bring her back.” “Are you so sure that you are to blame?” “Yes. I didn’t give her enough freedom. I was trying to be a good dad, but I wasn’t able to do it right.” “When you find your daughter, you should give her that freedom. I know how fathers worry about their daughters being out in the world, but you cannot choose for them forever. Remember that, and your trial will be easier. Now, you may sleep. Let not doubts or fears plague you tonight.” Balto dozed off, feeling comforted somehow by the voice.
Information about the wolf language:
There are three dialects in the wolf language, known as Itera: Itera Ada, Itera Voda, and Itera Rada, meaning Itera 1, Itera 2, and Itera 3. Itera Ada is an old dialect that is not spoken much anymore, except among elders. Many names are Itera Ada words. Itera Voda is a simplified dialect used to make communication while howling easier, and is rarely used in conversation. Itera Rada is the dialect currently spoken by almost all wolves, and the wolf language that Balto learned from Aniu when he was a puppy.
Words used:
Saba-the Itera Rada word for "adorable". Jenna chose this name, having been taught some of the language by Balto, who would sometimes tell her love poems in Itera Rada.
Yirix-an Itera Rada word with a double meaning. Ordinarily, it refers to dung, but when someone is called by it, it is a strong insult that could be translated to calling someone "filth".
Vaqis-an Itera word of unknown origin that conveys confusion; basically, "huh?"
Shavenya-Avenya is an Itera Ada word for "of the wind", and the "sh" in front is always applied to the name of a wolf pack.
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this rendition was about 100 times better!! You certainly
did well with the characters' emotions and thoughts, as
always.
-LWf