Thoughtless. 

By: Lady Vader.

 

Rated: PG - PG-13 (for violence, fighting, and murder.)

 

Summery: All her life, Ryssa has been picked on, abused, and made fun of. Most of her friends and family were killed, leaving her with her best friend Thorn and her "perfect sister". How will she react when she can’t stand to take it any more? Apparently she was no longer numb.

 

Characters: Ryssa and Thorn are © Lady Vader. Jenna is © to Universal.

 

A/N: A prequel to this is Completely Numb, but I haven't released it yet. After you finish this, I suggest you read the sequel, Tourniquet.

 

Note: Please, next time you make fun of someone at school just because everyone else is picking on them, remember this fic. Stand up for them.  

 

This is a songfic based on Korn's song Thoughtless, and loosely based on Pearl Jam's song Jeremy. 

 

 

 

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies.

 

Pushing all my mercy down, down, down.

 

I wanna see you try and take a swing at me.

 

I'm gonna put you on the ground.

 

 

"Stupid mutt!" Came the taunting barks of the town dogs. "Why are you even here? You're useless!"

No, apparently not. It seems I'm here for you to treat like crap. Ryssa thought spitefully as one dog slammed her to the ground. The impact stole the air from her lungs, but she didn't whimper or cry out. The black and white husky simply stood and kept walking, trying to ignore the hurtful comments radiating from the dogs behind her. It was getting harder and harder to ignore. They use to not anger her, but sadden her. But lately, her patience was wearing thin. No more tears fell from her eyes any more, but she was beginning to anger more and more. 

 

She heard more dogs calling after her. Another day in the life of the hated husky, Ryssa. It had been this way all of her life. She longed for the day things would be different, but she knew that day would never come, for one reason. She wasn't perfect like her sister.

 

The tears that had once stung her eyes on days like this never fell from her icy blue eyes. Her heart ached but she dare not cry. For pride? Possibly. More the less, just so they don't have another would to poke and prod at.

 

 

Why are you trying to make fun of me?

 

You think it's funny.

 

What do you think it's doing to me?

 

You take your turn lashing out at me. 

 

I want you crying with your dirty self in front of me. 

 

 

Why did they have to make fun of her? Was it for pure pleasure? Sure, she wasn't as pretty as her sister Jenna, but why did that leave her prone to all this pain and torture? Because she wasn't perfect? Because she didn't meet their standards? Because she wasn't good enough? Was it just funny? Did they understand the pain and hurt it put her through day after day?

 

 

All my hate cannot be bound.

 

I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming.

 

You can try to tear me down.

 

Beat me to the ground.

 

I will you see you screaming.

 

 

She hated them. All of them that had made fun of her. The ones that constantly pulled stuff on her. She knew it was wrong, but she honestly couldn't help it.

 

She stopped and glanced over her shoulder at them. "From this point on, they can try to tear me down. It's okay. But I'll get my revenge. I'll see them screaming." She muttered and continued walking silently. It was the beginning of the end.

 

 

 

Thumbing trhough the pages of my fantasies.

 

I'm above you smiling at you, drown, drown, drown.

 

I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me.

 

And I'll pull the trigger and your down, down, down.

 

The next day, Ryssa was walking down one of the silent, snowy streets of Nome, her white paws kissing the snow covered alley way. She waited for someone to notice her and begin to mock her, after all, it's not like it could be avoided. 

Sure enough, the attack came. A large doberman lunged out at her and knocked her to the ground. He stood over top of her growling, pinning her to the snowy street. He smirked and said, "Well good morning, Ryssa."  He snarled, his face twisted with scowl.

"Let me go." She said, not wanting to deal with this today. She stared up at him with cold eyes.

"I will. In a moment." His brown eyes stared at her. He smirked, his voice husky. "I want some fun."

Ryssa froze, eyes widening. She instantly began to kick and fight for freedom from his grasp.. She could take abuse and mocking, but she wasn't about to let him touch her.

He grew tired of her struggles and he slammed a large paw into her head.

She blinked, trying to clear her now blurry vision. "God, help me." She whispered as she finally slipped from his grasp. She leaped out of the way and collapsed in the cold snow, her world spinning from the blow.

"RYSSA!" She heard a familiar, comforting voice call. The voice of her friend, of her guardian angel. A large, white german shepherd landed in the snow beside her. He glared at the doberman and then asked gently, "Ryssa, you okay?"

She looked up at him and nodded slightly. He was her only friend. Thorn. "Yeah." She managed to choke out. 

Suddenly, the doberman lunged at Thorn, jaws snapping at the Shepherd dog. Thorn fought back, but the doberman had got the jump on him. A few other dogs joined the fight and ganged up on Thorn, just because he had took up for her.

Before long, Thorn was on the ground bloody and unmoving.

 

All my friends are gone.

They died.

They all screamed.

And cried.

Ryssa gasped in horror when he didn't move from that spot. His chest didn't rise and fall. It hit her like a ton of bricks. He was dead.

Tears slipped down her cheeks and she stood shakily, partially from the blow to the head, but mainly from anger. Her eyes never once left the doberman. "I hate you." She spat, then she lunged at him.

I'm gonna take you down!

All my hate cannot be bound.

I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming.

You can try to tear me down.

Beat me to the ground.

I will see you screaming...

She grasped her jaws around his throat and felt him gape for air. Her teeth sunk into his thick neck as she began dragging him towards the local pond, yanking him with all her might. 

"This is for Thorn." She muttered through all the fur and flesh in her mouth. She knew he heard her when she felt him tightened up.  With a final yank, she pulled him and herself into the icy water, breaking the thin ice as she did. 

Everyone gasped and watched on in horror. After that there was silence. After a few moments, Ryssa resurfaced without the doberman. She pulled her small body out of the frigid water, gasping as the cold wind cut her in half. "Would anyone else like to join him?" She growled as she pulled herself onto the bank's edge.

She moved around them and stopped beside Thorn's motionless body. "I'm so sorry..." She whispered. "This was my fault. Thank you for saving me. I was in need of a savior, and you saved me."

She glanced up at the raging dogs before her as reality of what she did crashed down on her.

You've really dug yourself into a hole this time, Ryssa.

 

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