grandmother’s stupid mistakes, the males in this pack are out to get me just because I happen to have a brain and not just beauty, and to top it all off, Cyan is cooking up a rebellion that’ll make this life even more insane! Did you get all that? Any questions? No? Now bug off!”

Crystal blinked at me for a few seconds, then mustered up an uncertain smile.

I sighed in frustration and glared at her. “You can’t do anything but smile all the time, can you? You think it’s all a happy, happy world out there, with green meadows and rainbows and pretty birdies fluttering around singing happy songs. Well, wake up and smell the caribou, sister! There is nothing left out there for anyone…except cold. Fear. Death. I know because I’ve lived it.”

Crystal’s smile was gone now, but there was a determined look in her blue-purple eyes. I slumped down in the snow, but she lifted me up again. I tried to pull away, but suddenly she started to speak.

“You can’t let them beat you,” Crystal murmured, “I look weak and stupid to you because I look on the bright side while you look on the dark. But I’ve had obstacles, too. We all have. Life without problems might as well be death. It doesn’t amount to anything. Fight, Luna. You deserve to live.”

I ignored her. I didn’t care what she or anyone else had to say.

When Crystal saw that I wasn’t listening, it was one of the few times I saw her angry. She kicked me, and I automatically whirled around and snapped at her. She nipped back, and when I froze from astonishment she threw me to the ground and took off, white puffs of snow flying up behind her. I chased her with savage growls, and slowly I felt the fighting fire inside me return.

By the time Crystal and I reached the entrance of the pack cave, I was back to my old self. I had left my self-pity out on the tundra. Hopefully it would stay there and never come back to pull me down again.

Panting, I stared at Crystal gratefully. “Thanks,” I whispered grudgingly, not wanting her to know that she had won me over so easily.

She looked back at me with a triumphant gleam in her eye. “You know, there are four things I’ve learned to do to survive this life: live, love, forgive, and never give up. Try those sometime.”

I shrugged and padded back into the sleeping quarters, Crystal’s words bouncing around my brain. I tried to think about them, but the day had been too much for me.

I fell asleep wondering what to do to Jaydor the next day to punish him for leaving me with Ice Moon.

The next week was eerily calm compared to my first day of being a White Storm wolf. Jaydor and Ice Moon both gave me a wide berth, though the latter’s absence might have been because of Crystal’s constant complaining that the females were being mistreated in the pack. Again I was shown kindness I didn’t deserve, and my guilt grew as Crystal kept Ice Moon at bay so I could figure out what to do.

My first impulse was to run away. It was the one option that would guarantee me safety from my mother’s enemy…but it didn’t feel right. I had done too much running away already, and if I did leave, where would I go? The only other option was to stay, and that wasn’t appealing to me, either. I would have to hide from Ice Moon the whole time, and I had already hidden enough from Roan and Soran. It seemed I had escaped, only to come across the female version of Roan. But Ice Moon didn’t simply want to play games; she wanted me dead. What could I do?

I tried to take up the matter with Cyan, but he seemed to be engulfed in a mess of storm clouds. His mood was dark and snappish, and after awhile I became wary that every time I talked to him I increased the chance of my head being bitten off.

“Can I trust Jaydor?” I asked Cyan one time, “He was being pretty nice…and then he left me with Ice Moon. I just can’t figure it out! Whose side is he on?”

“Jaydor, Jaydor, Jaydor!” Cyan cried irritably, “That’s all I ever hear out of you! Go gossip with one of your girlfriends. I have enough on my plate without listening to lovesick pups!”

I slapped him hard across the face as the comment zipped past my nose like a bullet.

Time froze around us. I caught my breath and waited.

Cyan slowly turned around, and belted me so hard with one paw I was thrown to the ground.

I lay still for a moment, breathing heavily, and then instinct forced me to my feet. I looked up into Cyan’s face, and his expression was as tangled and full of emotions as my mind. He padded up to me until we were face to face, and shot a glare of his own into my eyes. We held each other’s gaze, until I broke the silence by saying stonily: “I am not lovesick.” My stomach curdled.

Cyan’s eyes burned into me, so cold and so hot at the same time. “Don’t trust Jaydor,” he growled back, “He’s more than he seems.”

“Then how do I know if I can trust you?” I murmured angrily.

Cyan looked regretful. “I don’t know. You’re going to have to trust your instincts on that one.”

My confusion at his reply was interrupted by a familiar figure behind Cyan. “Luna.” It was Jaydor.

My stomach did an unsettling flip-flop. My mouth tasted sour. I could feel the blood zipping around my body. These reactions confused me. I stared up at him with what I hoped was a pleasant, confident gaze, but what was probably a confused look. Why was I acting this way?

“Cyan, could I borrow Luna for a minute?” Jaydor asked.

Cyan nodded curtly, and said, “She’s yours,” then seemed to bite his tongue as he trotted away.

For a second I thought I saw Jaydor sneer at Cyan’s retreating form, but then he turned to me. Immediately his brown eyes became soft and intent at the same time. I found I had to remind myself to breathe.

“I need to talk to you about the…rebellion,” he said, “Since you just got here you can’t have a major role, but there is a way you can help.”

“Yes?”

“Ice Moon has been trying to stop our rebellion for a long time now,” he explained quietly, “But now that you’re here, you serve as a distraction for her. Keep letting her chase you, and we’ll finally be able to get rid of her like we’ve planned. Thanks for helping us out so far.”

I gazed at him stonily. “So that’s why you left me with Ice Moon that one night? So I could distract her while you went off to plan more of your rebellion?”

Jaydor’s face was priceless. “Well, I didn’t mean…” he stammered, “There were…I–”

“I’m just your tool,” I said, icicles hanging from every cold word, “Just like I was for Roan and Soran, and for Kamotz and all those other wolves who tried to attack me. You’re no better than Kamotz. I will not be used!”

“But–”

“Did it ever cross your mind that Ice Moon could kill me? Did it? Because I don’t know why, but that detail seemed kind of important to me, you know?”

“Sorry,” he muttered, “You looked like you could handle it.”

I didn’t know what to say to this backwards compliment, so I simply glowered at Jaydor.

His uncomfortable gaze flicked down to the ground, and then he sighed and looked up again. “Kamotz and his gang are dangerous wolves to attract. Luna–”

“Don’t try to change the subject,” I said icily, but my frosty words were melted by his warm gaze.

“Be careful,” he continued, “They’ll keep coming after you until they get what they want. Be on your guard. They’ll use you no matter what you say.”

“Well, I’m tired of being used,” I said hotly, “What exactly makes me so irresistible to these males? Besides my charming personality, I mean.” My sarcastic remarks dried up as soon as I saw Jaydor’s expression.

“You’ve never even seen yourself, have you?” he said with almost a hint of wonder.

I shook my head, and his eyebrows rose another inch. “Well, then, c’mon. I’ll show you why you’re so ‘irresistible’.”

My instincts were tearing at me to run, but something else was fighting back. I watched as he turned and padded a few paces, then turned around with a question in his brown eyes. “Coming or not?”

My instinct grappled with this strange new feeling.

He’s a male.

But…

He left you with Ice Moon.

But…

You can’t trust him.

But…

I followed him cautiously, and he led me past Ice Moon’s cave, over the tundra, past the cave with the flat rocks that Cyan had showed me, to a frozen river.

I stared at the water encased in ice, and the frozen surface mirrored the whites and grays of the sky above. Jaydor studied the pearly ice for a minute, and then stepped onto a dark patch with one paw and forced it down.

“Careful!” I mumbled, hurrying to his side.

The glassy ice broke into thin shards under Jaydor’s gray paw, and they floated tranquilly on the water they had held captive beneath. He lifted his dry foot off a shard and examined the tiny pool he had made. Since the water around it was locked in ice, the pool became still.

Jaydor backed away. “Look,” was his one word of command.

I did look: first a little uncertainly at him, then at the still water. He jerked his head forward to indicate I was to look into the mirror he had made for me, and so I did.

What gazed back at me from the surface of the water was a stranger. She was a wolf-dog of pain and sharp beauty. Her golden eyes stared back at mine as I stared at her, and her gaze followed mine as I took in her strong legs, her proud face, her thick brown tail swaying gently behind her. Her fur was a dusky brown-gray except for her white paws and white draped across her shoulders like a cloak of snow. She would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the few cuts and scars that roped their way faintly beneath her fur.

It was not until I saw those scars and the wondering look in her golden eyes that I realized she was me. I looked up at Jaydor with wide eyes. He had quietly padded to my side and had been watching my reaction in silence. Now he looked back at me, and his eyes were a calm place for me to rest.

“I…” Words seemed impossible to reach. I swallowed to wash away the lump in my throat. “So now I know.”

“Luna, you’re very beautiful,” Jaydor murmured, “But beauty like that is dangerous. It