As I walk to school my insane mind haunts me… there she is… wagging her tail smiling

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I walk to school my insane mind haunts me… there she is… wagging her tail smiling. And she sings (Evanescence - Going Under)

 

“Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented...Daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again...

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under”

 

Now my insanity said I can’t talk to her using my brain “Emma….Please, don’t do this.”

 

Emma started to sing again (Evanescence – Bring Me To Life)

 

“All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me”

 

And I sang back

 

“I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life”

 

Then the bus came.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two.

 

 

On the bus ride I looked out the window to see Emma outside running after the bus singing

(Evanescence – Everyone’s Fool)

 

“look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now I know she is”

 

I turned my head away about to cry.

 

And Emma was on my seat (no one else was sitting with me)

 

She began to sing once more (Evanescence – My Immortal)

 

“I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase”

 

 

Then sadly I put my hand on her head and my hand dropped to the seat…she diapered.

 

A high scholar asked “Fiona? Ya okay?”

 

I said a bit confused “Wha-” I turned to face who said that “…oh…yeah.”

And turned my head around, to see Emma in my face. I let out a sigh.

 

“Emma…

Watching me,
Haunting me,
I can fear you haunt me down.
Fearing you,
Loving you,
I won’t let you haunt me down.
Watching me,
Wanting me,
I can feel you haunt me down.
Fearing you,
Loving you,
I won’t let you haunt me down.”

 

Emma put her ears back and vanished.

 

 

Chapter 3

 

(Blue October – Hate Me)

 

“And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.”

 

 

At school it was lunch I sat next to two of the new boys. When we where done eating I got up for a second and someone stole my seats I did not make a big deal about it. So I sat at the end corner of the table…no chair. I sat on the floor and the new boys cleaned the table. I placed my backpack on the table… people shoved ALL the things on the table on me, I wanted to yell and scream, but didn’t I put the stuff back on the table. Placing my backpack carefully back up and relaxed…some one pushed my backpack really hard giving it some decent speed, hitting me on the face, also dropping dirty wipes on my head, they walked away laughing….

 

Then outside I was romping around being me. Some kid came up to me and taunted me. Laughing at my ‘Weirdness’ I ran at him wanting to kick him, he put his foot out and tripped me, I twisted my ankle. Then I limped away, nearly making it back inside the school…I limped to the bathroom… then Emma was on the sink singing.

 

“So you don’t want to hear about my good song?
and you don’t want to hear about how i am getting on
with all the things that I can get done
the sun is in the sky & I am by my lonesome
so you don't want to hear about my good day?
You have better things to do than to hear me say

God it’s been a lovely day! Everything is going my way
I took out the trash today and I’m on fire...

So you don't want to hear about my good friends?
You don’t have the guts to take the truth or consequence
success is in the eye of the beholder
and its looking even better over your cold shoulder

I’m not suggesting you up and line me up for questioning
but Jesus think about the bridges you are burning
and I’m betting
that even though you knew it from the start
you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

So go ahead and talk about your bad day...
I want all the details of the pain and misery
that you are inflicting on the others
I consider them my sisters and I’d like their numbers

God it’s been a lovely day! Everything is going my way
i took up croquet today and I’m on fire

i picked up the pieces of my broken ego
i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
but I’d love to have you up to see the place
& I’d like to do more than survive I’d like to rub it in your face.....

Hey! Its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i had so much fun today and I’m on fire
god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way
ever since you went away hey I’m on fire.....
I’m on fire...
I’m on fire...
so you don’t want to hear about my good day?”

I just started to ball my eyes out. I started to beat myself up saying. “Fiona you loser! You’re INSANE!!!!!”

Collapsing and bleeding I wake up to see myself in the stall with the door locked. Not on the toilet but on the ground, I get up a bit wobbly. I got to the sink and wash up.

 

Chapter 4

I look down the hall to the end of the hall I see the way outside… I make a run for it…I ran outside but a bit dazed I stop….and turn back… “What am I doing?”

“your doing what’s best…” Emma said.

“What do you mean?” I said not quite understanding.

“Well you see you want to be free. But civilization is stopping you.” Emma said in a soothing voice.

“But why do I see you but not other people?” I asked a bit angry

“Well Fiona…I am part of you, I am your free side. It is a very big part on you. Your mind made me.” Emma said full of knowledge

“So you mean you’re an imaginary friend?” I asked in a snicker

“No! You stupid child! I am…-” She stopped to think “I’m a Brain function.” She said proudly

“…What?...Oh…Kay…”

 

 

Chapter 5

(Nirvana – Drain You)

“I'm so happy 'cause today

I found my friends

They're in my head

I'm so ugly, but that's okay

Cause so are you

Broke our mirrors

Sunday morning is everyday for all I care

And I'm not scared

Light my candles

In a daze cause I found god” I sang as loud and beautiful as I could

 

“Emma…I miss Andy…” I said

“Yeah…so do I” Emma said in a depressing tone

“Can I fly to his house?” I asked stupidly

Laughing Emma answered “You’re a human you can’t fly”

I stupidly Replied “Oh…yeah…”

“Its okay Fiona…We all make errors” Emma said comforting me “I’m sure you’ll see him soon”

“Yeah….”

I limped back to class, When I walked in I could sense I was Reeeally late.

“Miss Harrington, Where have you been…you missed an hour of class…”

The students did there snickers about constipation.

“Mr. Stone I’m not feeling well. Can I go to the nurse?”

“What for? What’s wrong? You have to poop for an hour?” he said laughing as the kids did.

“No! You’re an Asshole!” and ran out of the class.

I ran outside the front door and kept running regardless about my ankle, Emma ran along side me.

“Good girl.” She said creepily

I thought about how screwed I was going to be since I ran out of school and I can’t go back! I need to keep running.

“WHY!!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS! HELP ME! KILL ME! IM INSANE!”

Emma said staring wide eyed “…Fiona…don’t.”

 

TO BE

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