Phir-wolf

Chapter one.

I remember wanting to protect him. Now I don’t know how I could want to be near him, and even that’s not of his fault. My brother, I mean. I realize now that he’s known as Balto, but to me he’ll always be Batai to me. I suppose that the humans were close to his birth name. My other sibling never had to struggle through life. My sister was blessed with a clear fate. As for me, I’m Phiry, and I was never so lucky.

The first memory that I can recall that didn’t include the urge to sleep, suckle, or grunt was when I was but two and one-half weeks old. There were harsh voices, and a scent much like my mother’s except it had a harsher, bitterer smell to it. This wolf was most certainly a male. And then there were the words.

“Take them away,”

My mother growled at the harsh-scented wolf, and whispered something inaudible.

“You cannot keep the pups. They endager the pack. You know what that brother of his will do if he finds them. Let that mate of yours have them. Too much is left at stake if they stay” There was a tone of unwilling resignation in the harsh-scented wolf’s voice. His voice softened " I am sorry Anui, but you chose this fate upon yourself when...."

“I will not give them up, father. They are mine, and Mo….” She never finished her sentence, and I never saw the slashing fangs coming. My mother snarled in defiance at her father as he lunged for one of us. Never have I lost the sight of blood trickling down my mother’s beautiful white face, nor the itching feeling that it was my fault just because I was born. What madness caused my own grandsire to attack his daughter so? I must have been that madness, that disease.

“They all have to leave. They cannot live here. Not when so many of our pack has already died. I am sorry Anui. But they cannot stay. Especially that pup." He looked in the direction of...me. "She looks so much like her father. And those eyes...” His voice was trailed, but it wasn't because of the thought of being rid of us. He loved his daughter dearly. Without another word, the brownish wolf disappeared, along with his pungent scent.

I didn’t understand what was happening. I was too young to know what made us different. What made me even more different. I had no more affinities than Batai, or Aatha. I was just like them. Oh, God how I wished to be just like them. But somehow I knew I wasn’t. I was different. And that’s what cost us all.

I whimpered as mother cried. It wasn’t so much out of fear, but out of guilt. Why, no, HOW could a pup that has only faced this world for two, almost three weeks already cause such suffering? Why did this have to be my fault? Suddenly I felt a nose poke into my ribs. Batai poked me again, and I gently nipped his ears. Soon we were tussling, and even Aatha joined in the play, with mother supervising, of course. As evening drew near, we were tired and covered in small welts. Aatha and my mother were soon in a deep sleep.

“Batai?” I asked.

“What, Phir?”

“We’ll be best buds no matter what happens because of me, right?”

“Of course, Phir. I’ll always be here for you.”

Such thoughts should have come from siblings far older than we, but time wasn’t so kind to us.

Later that night, after the blood from mother’s face became just angry ruby streaks down her snowy face, another scent drifted into the somewhat stuffy den. I blinked my still-puppy eyes as I looked upon the sight. A silhouette of a large wolf’s head came into view, and the scent was that of yet another male. Instinctively I backed into the shadow, still wallowing in shock from the day’s previous events. He tested the air cautiously before taking a few slow steps into the den. That’s when I realized that he wasn’t a wolf. His tail curled over his back unlike any wolf from our clan. I didn’t know what kind of creature this male was, but it certainly wasn’t a wolf.

When finally the massive wolf-creature came into the den, I began to see the same body shape as many of my kind. The jaw was wider, the legs stouter, and of course there was that curly tail. But somehow I knew that he was almost like us. I recognized the smell as it became stronger in the still air. Though I never really met him before, there was no mistaking that scent. After all, his scent was part of mine, and the way he looked at my mother could leave no doubt. This wolf-creature was my sire.

He prodded my mother with his stout nose and she slowly awoke, groggy. She shook her head once, as if to make sure what she was seeing was real. Certain that she wasn’t still dreaming, she shouldered him out of the den. I heard some rustling. They must have slipped behind the bushes that guarded the back of the den.

“Why are you here?” whispered my mother, her voice somewhat frantic. "You know what will happen if they see you here..."

“I needed to see you again,” the male’s voice was deep, though somewhat soothing. “I’m not stupid, Anui. I know what will happen. But I need to see them." There was a slight pause."My pups. No matter how wrong the circumstances were."

“There was nothing wrong about what happened!” I could tell by her voice that my mother was seething. There was another pause.

“How many are there?” he asked.

“Three.” She growled. “One looks exactly like you, dog.” She continued, her voice becoming less crisp, and she said the word dog with a bit of tease in her voice. The male chuckled gently.

“Let me see them,” he asked, his voice full of yearning.

“No,” she woofed, her voice sad.

"But Anui....I...I need to see them. Please."

"I can't let y...no!" My mother cried.

 Suddenly the dog’s face appeared in the den. His gaze fell upon Batai, but did not seek Aatha and me in the shadows. He lunged and grabbed Batai by the scruff of his neck. He stifled a yelp as my mother bit into his hind leg. He jerked his leg out of my mother’s mouth and darted with my brother.

"They will kill you!" My mother cried, her voice racked with uncontrollable sobs. "They know...." Her voice drained into a whisper.

 I raced out of the den for the first time in my life, only to be met by my mother’s teeth. I was carried back into the den by my scruff, and began sobbing as I saw my sister’s eyes full of feat. He said he’d always be there for me. I should’ve been there for him. Now nobody’s here for me.

That night my mother slept in front of the den entrance. I nestled with Aatha, but it was more for warmth than comfort. I missed Batai. As I tried to fall asleep, thoughts whirled in my head. Somehow, being near Batai caused him to leave. If I was near my sister, what would happen to her? What terrible fate could I bring down on her? I stood up and crawled to the farthest side of the den. My sister looked up at me with pleading eyes. I looked away. Thus began my life as the Phir-wolf.

CHAPTER TWO~ Goodbye, Phir

Moons slipped by and I grew. Grew in strength and body, yes, but also in bitterness. That is when I believe I let myself slip into the wild part of myself. When I truly became Phir. My sister was growing too, but where she was muscular and had a beautiful full face, I was lanky and my face narrow. My mother doted on my sister, and I was told to do what my little sister asked of me. And I hadn't forgotten my brother. I began to realize why my father took Batai from me.

The wolves were slowly being opressed by the race of dog. The once mutual relationship with the people once called the Inuits was now destoyed. New breeds of the inferior race were brought to Anartica, along woth the killing thunder (as I later learned were known as guns). A Ruling race had begun. And they were slowly killing us, or making us like them. There was one who ruled over the residing Nome pack of dogs near us. He was my father. When he met my mum....well, I don't really know what happened except that they had us. And for some reason I never was able to meet him properly until that night when he stole Batai from me. I still don't understand why that happened. And no matter how long I waited at the edge of our den, they never came back.

We grew up isolated in a small clearing, with cold visits from what I guessed to be my packmates. My mother was in-line for Alphess, as she was the only surviving offspring of my Alpha Grandsire. Many times wolves would come in with scars, and briefly tell of how the dogs were pushing the wolves away from our homeland. My mother often hid my sister during these visits, knowing that she looked too much like the dogs for her to be safe from wolves still lost in blood-lust.

My hunting skills grew as much as they could when all around us there were just shrubs and the occasional stream. Rabbits were what I grew adept at hunting. I loved the hunt....the taste of fresh-kill. Sometimes on a hunt I knew I scared Aatha with my brutality. I scared myself sometimes, not knowing where these strange instincts came from. I didn't think it normal, for Aatha was always the one to wait until after the kill was made.

The day I tried to catch the stupid fish in the water was the first time I ever truly looked at myself. I startled myself as I saw my reflection. My snout, which was lighter than my main coat color, was stained dark with blood, and my eyes....they were so strange. The right one was the amber-yellow of a wolf, and the left one was the ice-blue like nothing I've seen before. I was fascinated and scared at the same time. Then, beneath the blood, I saw it. Three stripes ran length-wise under my right eye, like three dark scars sticking out from my gray pelt. I didn't know whether to laugh or howl with delight. A reason for why I was so different. But deep down, I knew that was just an excuse.

Spring came again, with the flowers and rain that always follows. My mother entered heat, and to be sure no repeat of me happened, my