If I were grading this I'd have to take points off for
punctuation, but you've got a story with some possibilities
here. What is Stonya doing in Nome? I'd like to see you
follow up on this story.
I liked it! I want to know who Sonya is. I also think you should try
to edit it a bit more, so that the story lines is a bit more
clarified. Other then that it was great!
punctuation, but you've got a story with some possibilities
here. What is Stonya doing in Nome? I'd like to see you
follow up on this story.