half-expected to see Scout behind me, whispering the name in my ear. “I’ll call him Balto.”

Balto grew from a clumsy pup to a handsome yearling, his adventurous spirit a mirror of his father in my eyes. I buried Scout in the ground with Balto at my side and told my son of our forbidden romance (modified for his young ears, of course) and Balto seemed to see me in a new light afterwards. Often he would go to his father’s burial site and sit by the grave, just thinking. I would watch him from the foliage, struggling to keep back tears.

This practice would not continue, though. The new pack leader was a superstitious wolf, and after fretting about the drama that had occurred ever since the pack had moved into the cave when my parents were small, he forced us to move to a new pack cave that was closer to a human community called Nome. I’m ashamed to say Balto showed more emotion towards leaving his father than I did. It was as if my heart was encased in rock.

Over the months Balto discovered his place in the pack. With Nanuq as his only friend and Snow Paws as mine, he persisted in questioning why the other pack members treated him with disdain. With my stone heart heavy in my chest, I reminded him of mine and Scout’s forbidden relationship, and of both his canine and lupine heritage. Wolf-dogs weren’t known to have a place in a wolf pack or a human town, I told him as gently as I could.

Balto seemed to finally understand his predicament. It didn’t change his relationship with Nanuq, or anyone else, though. The two pups played, boxed, wrestled, and occasionally talked together, and I saw how they connected through neither of them having fathers.

…Balto also never knew of his lost sister. I didn’t want to inflict any more grief on him, lest he turn into a hardened old carcass like me. Yet somehow I knew that one day I would lose Balto just like I had lost his sister, and it would be a long, long time before I ever saw him again.

It was in the middle of a rabies epidemic and a caribou shortage when Balto was about two years old. I had finally managed to get my son and his friend to go to sleep. Nanuq curled up near Snow Paws, Balto snuggled into me. All was silent except for the gentle breathing and low stomach growls of the wolves in the cave. All seemed peaceful.

A fearsome shriek clipped the silence. I sprang up out of pure reflex, still half-asleep. Snow Paws stood over Nanuq on her hind legs, screaming, “Seminole! They killed Seminole! You all killed Seminole! Bring him back! Bring him back!”

“Mom?” I heard Nanuq whisper pitifully.

Snow Paws attacked with a bite to Nanuq’s ear, yelling through the white foam fizzing around her mouth, “Seminole! Seminole!”

I shook myself awake and snarled as I joined several other pack members in surrounding the rabid wolf. This was no longer my friend. Rabies had taken Snow Paws’ soul captive. All that was left was a crazed demon.

Snow Paws suddenly howled, and that howl somehow split open the rock that had become my heart. I felt emotions pulsing through me again. I realized I had blood in my veins that carried feelings from my heart to the rest of my body. My blood carried sorrow as I watched Snow Paws flail in the air with bubbling white drool foaming around her jaw.

Suddenly, her face deadened, and she fell to the ground with a releasing thud. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nanuq turn away.

Having no more obligation to protect themselves and the pack, the other wolves began to drag Snow Paws’ body out of the cave. I was about to join them when Balto scurried up to me and buried his face in my side. “Mom…”

I licked his face reassuringly. “Balto, the danger has passed, and Snow Paws is at peace. It’s alright.” I observed Nanuq standing by himself. I could imagine his grief, shock, horror. Perhaps I could comfort him. “Nanuq. Come here.” He didn’t move. Perhaps not.

I continued to watch Nanuq as I sang to Balto to quiet him. Was the bite from his mother already affecting him? It wouldn’t be long until the whole pack knew for sure.

The next morning, I awoke to Balto’s voice and the peevish tones of a young female. A glance out of the cave entrance showed Balto speaking sharply to Rora, Nanuq’s sister. The young one was rather attractive, but it was clear she was teasing Balto, seducing him, even. I had never spent much time with Rora, but I knew she had a bad attitude. After she had learned her mother had been bumped off the alpha rank of the pack because of Seminole’s death, Rora had acted spitefully towards her brother and hardly even considered Snow Paws as her mother. I suppose she was ashamed her family was inferior to another. I had heard from pack gossip that Rora was using her unearthly beauty to tempt the pack leader into making her the alpha female. In sum, I didn’t like or trust her, especially with my son.

My teeth bared, I watched the little wench flick her tail under Balto’s chin, paw at his shoulders, brush against him. I knew she was Snow Paws’ daughter, but couldn’t stop my thoughts from burning hard and hating.

“Would you just shut it, Rora?!” Balto yelled. I jumped in surprise, then grinned proudly.

The heated conversation continued for the next few minutes, and then Rora swung around and began strutting away. I almost sighed in relief, then saw Rora whip around at a low remark from Balto. The argument went on, until suddenly Rora flung herself at Balto and began biting and scratching him, screeching something indecipherable. I held myself back to see how Balto would handle this.

Gasping, he tore himself away from Rora and ran into the trees, Rora hot on his tail. I followed them and could hear the snap of branches and crack of twigs under Balto’s paws as he thundered through the trees. I pursued Rora without difficulty, and found her yelling after Balto, “I’ll get you for that, Balto! Don’t even think about coming back here, unless you want a bite from my teeth and a kick in the side!”

I clenched my teeth and crept up on her from behind. “Stay away from my son.”

She spun around with a frightened look on her face, but then it quickly morphed into a haughty expression. “Well, well. Is Mommy looking after her precious baby boy?” she sneered.

“You just stay away from my son,” I said fiercely, “Or you’ll have to answer to me.”

“Ooh, I’m so fwightened,” she replied sarcastically. She started to saunter away, cocking her hips so she looked pompous even from the back. “Give it a rest, husky-lover.”

An overly loud rustle from the greenery stopped me from inflicting pain on Rora that I knew I would come to regret. A dark gray patch of fur showed itself through a clump of wet leaves on a bush, and then whatever it was slipped away. I saw leaves and branches shake as it changed direction and started heading towards where the pack was. In a few moments it was gone, and the forest was still.

“Something’s moving towards the pack,” I murmured to Rora. I sniffed and caught the animal’s scent: a putrid smell so thick and nauseating it made me want to retch. “And it’s diseased.”

Rora sniffed, wrinkled her muzzle, then shrugged nonchalantly and raced back to the cave. I hesitated, and felt a drop of snow plop onto my nose. I shook it off and looked up at the darkening sky to see it was beginning to snow.

A high-pitched scream echoed through the woods. I cautiously followed the sound to the pack cave, where the world had turned inside out and upside down.

Nanuq stood with his eyes blazing and his long tongue lolling out of his mouth as wolves scattered right and left. He cackled and slurped up drool from his lips as he chased the pack members that were running around like they had lost the heads. A few wolves he had already bitten staggered about, drool bubbling up from their throats, and they seemed to be having trouble breathing. One of them flopped over onto the ground and lay there choking and gasping while white drool still foamed around his lips.

Hoping that somehow another pack could come and help us, I raised my head to the sky and howled. Nanuq turned from his fleeing prey and locked his blue eyes on me. I hoped beyond hope that this rabid version of Balto’s friend would recognize me and let me stop him from attacking the rest of the pack…somehow.

Nanuq howled back, making my blood freeze, and then he charged me. I forced my frozen limbs to move and ran for my life, hearing the slobbering and sputtering of Nanuq behind me. I dove back into the forest and wove my way through the trees as fast as I could. I could hear Nanuq smacking into branches and cracking against tree trunks and stumbling into berry bushes, yet somehow he still managed to follow me.

My lungs burned as fire surged up and down inside of them, and blood rinsed around my weary body as I burst out of the woods and pounded across the snowy hills, cold crystals flying up behind me. I couldn’t hear anything over my raspy breathing, so I kept running away from Nanuq, through a snowstorm that knocked the wind out of me and numbed my face, my legs, my tail with bitter cold.

At last I collapsed. My head throbbed as memories of a similar storm swarmed through my head. The storm during which I had found the dog team. When I had found Scout.

The hot tears flooding down my face felt good against the icy chill. I sang out hysterically, “Deep in the night, the winds blow cold…Deep in the storm…Reach for the light.”

I don’t remember falling unconscious.

A warm, kind voice filled my ears: “Is she thawing out