The Swimming Lesson

The Swimming Lesson

By Agwolfcp, 2006

 

Pale sunlight reached across the fading night sky, banishing the stars as it shone. Deep blue was slowly being replaced by soft pinks and warm yellows, and as the sun rose it revealed land stretching for countless miles. The sun was still inching above the horizon when―

“Uncle Boooooorrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiisss!” a shout shattered the serene morning air.

“Hey, it sounds like Muk and Luk, Boris,” Balto said as he rose, yawning.

“No, really? Oy,” the goose replied in his thick Russian accent, grouchy from being woken up so early.

“Well, they’re not normally up at this time of day,” Balto replied. “So, what’s the occasion?”

Boris didn’t answer, as he was too busy trying to bury himself in a pile of ragged old blankets. “Shhh.” He motioned for Balto to hush.

“Boris, why are you hiding?” the wolf-dog said, raising his voice as he spotted two pairs of polar bear eyes peeking eagerly over the deck rail. He winked at them.

“Oh come on, Uncle Boris. What could you have possibly said to these two bears that would’ve gotten them up so early? C’mon,” Balto nodded at the bears, and in a flash they were up on the deck and digging out the scowling snow goose.

“Alright, alright!” Boris’s muffled cry could barely be heard from between the two pudgy polar bears as they hugged him. They quickly let him go, and he fell to the floor with a thud.

“Ok, you two want a lesson? Then get to the shore! Quick now, like lemming over cliff! Hustle!” Muk and Luk rushed off of the dilapidated boat, stumbling as they went.

“So, what are you going to teach them that you haven’t already, huh, Boris? How to make grim similes?” Balto rolled his eyes. “Well, I sure didn’t teach you how to use your smart mouth. That must’ve come naturally,” Boris shot back. “If you must know, I promised to teach them to swim, for once and for all!” he emphasized each of the last five words with a jab of his wing.

“And you are going to teach them? Since when do you know how to swim?” Balto grinned.

“You forget who you are talking to, smart mouth. I am a goose. Of course I know how to swim. How else do you think I travel on water?”

“So, you’re going to teach two polar bears who are more than five times your weight each to float on their behinds and paddle?”

Boris gave him a menacing look. “Don’t let your mouth run loose Balto; that is the job of your feet.” With that, he took off from the boat and headed to the shore.

“This I gotta see,” Balto chuckled to himself, and then started after the indignant goose.

Muk and Luk were waiting for them at the shore, wriggling with excitement.

“Whadda we do first, Uncle Boris, whadda we do first?” Muk shouted as soon as Boris was within earshot. Luk squeaked in agreement.

“Maybe, the logical thing would be to GET IN THE WATER!” Boris said as he landed beside them.

“Oh, oh yes, right,” Muk replied, and Luk began to edge himself towards the water, almost immediately jumping back.

“What is wrong now?” Boris said through clenched teeth. Balto had tried his patience, and now he was taking out his frustration on the bears. Luk whimpered a reply. “He said what?” Boris turned to Muk for a translation.

“He said that the water is cold.”

“Well, what did you expect? We are in Alaska, if you haven’t noticed, not Florida. Now in!”

“Uncle Boris, what’s Florida?”
“IN!”

The two bears leapt into the water, in a hurry to escape Boris’s wrath. Unfortunately for Boris, this resulted in a tidal wave of minor proportions. Muk and Luk grinned at the soaked goose from the shallows.

“Well? Stop sitting there grinning like a pair of stuffed squirrels and PADDLE!” Boris shouted irritably.

“But we can’t, Uncle Boris. The water’s too shallow,”

“Then maybe, the obvious thing to do would be to get into deeper water,” Boris said calmly as best as he could. Balto, who had been watching the spectacle quietly, twitched his tail in amusement.

Luk whimpered.

“What did he say?” Boris asked; one eyebrow arched.

“He said what about the sharks, Uncle Boris?” Muk translated.

“Sharks? There are no sharks in Alaska! The closest sharks are in Hawaii!”

“What’s Hawaii?”

“GET…OUT…THERE,”

Luk whimpered again.

“Now what?” Boris cried.

“He says, ‘what about the giant squid?’. Where he got that idea, I’ll never know. What’s a giant squid, Uncle Boris? Do we have them here?” Muk babbled.

At that, Balto burst out laughing. Boris was getting very frustrated.

Luk whimpered once again, but somewhat quieter this time. Boris looked at Muk inquiringly.

“Um… he said uh…” Muk trailed off.

“What did he say?” Boris asked impatiently.

“He said… he said he’s hungry, Uncle Boris.”

Balto was now rolling on the ground with laughter, hugging his sides as tears streamed down his face. The little polar bear had answered every question dead serious with a straight face. The sight of it was just too much.

“ALRIGHT! For the last time, get into deeper water, or you’ll have a lot more to worry about than sharks or squid!” Boris hollered at the bears, who scrambled to obey. Soon they were in neck-high water (waist high for Luk).

“Ok,” Boris said, eyeing Balto, who was still lying in the ground trying to catch his breath. He turned back to the bears. “We will begin with the dead man’s float.” The bears looked at him wide eyed. “Start by—”

“Whaaa! We thought you loved us, Uncle Boris! Now you’re trying to get rid of us!” They sobbed, causing the water level to rise slightly.

“Idiot bears! Stop that! Don’t you know—” Boris what cut off by Balto.

“I’ll handle this, ok Boris?” Balto smiled.

“Hmpf.” Was Boris’s reply.

“Hey, Muk, Luk! Look at this.” Balto floated out to them, lying on his stomach and face down, with his legs hanging limply below him. He righted himself as he reached them. “See, that’s the dead man’s float. Nothing to it!” The bears calmed down a bit. Luk sniffled.

“What’d he say?” Balto asked Muk.

“He said he pities the guy they named that after,” Muk replied, and soon both were bawling again. Balto shook his head, amused.

“Hey, you guys, let’s try something different, like maybe the front crawl,” He said.

“But,” Muk started, wiping away his tears. “I thought we were learning how to swim,”

Balto laughed. “Ok, then, let’s try the doggie paddle. I can teach you half of it, anyways.” He demonstrated it.

“Is there a polar bear paddle? Maybe we could do that!” Muk exclaimed.

“I dunno, I think you’d have to figure that out for yourselves. I’m gonna head back to shore.” Balto started back to where Boris waited on the shore, out of the water’s reach. Boris gave him a disapproving look as Balto shook himself dry. He then settled down on the ground to keep an eye on the bears, who were splashing about trying to figure out how to paddle. From the looks of it, they were unsuccessful.

“I am beginning to think that they will never swim, whether by their own doing or by some cruel trick of nature,” Boris commented to Balto. “It does not look very likely.”

“Aw, just give them some time, Boris. They’re still young. They’ll figure it out eventually.” Balto curled up to take a nap in the late morning sun.

He had barely started to drift off to sleep when he heard shouting. Alarmed, he jumped up, looking around wildly. Boris stood slack-jawed beside him.

“Look, look! Uncle Boris, look! Are you looking? Luk is floating, Uncle Boris! He’s floating!” Muk cried out excitedly. Sure enough, the larger of the two bears was lying face down on the water, arms and legs spread out.

I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it,” Boris was murmuring to himself. Balto didn’t believe it either, but for another reason. He smiled to himself. His beliefs were confirmed when Luk lifted his head out of the water, grinning, as Boris had put earlier, like a stuffed squirrel.

Boris seemed to be in a daze. “He’s floating. He is actually floating.”

Balto leaned over. “Um, sorry to burst your bubble, Boris, but Luk’s laying on a rock.”

“Wha—” Boris seemed confused for a moment, but then snapped out of it. “A rock?! He is laying on a Rock!?! Why, that insolent—”

By now Luk had fallen off the flat-topped rock and he and Muk rolled around in the water, laughing. Balto was laughing too. He glanced at Boris, expecting him to be furious. He had been in a foul mood ever since being woken at dawn. Instead, Boris just looked tired, but Balto thought he saw the slightest hint of amusement in the goose’s eyes.

“Alright, let’s call it a day, swimming-wise, that is.” The goose turned around and

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