Eternal Regret

(started 10/3/07 – ) 

Summary: It is told that seeing a white wolf is a sign of upcoming death . . . but also that a white wolf has the power to resurrect those whose destinies are unfulfilled . . . by giving them life forever. How can a life spared from the touch of death live on . . . without feeling some sort of regret?

Rating: PG-13 for some violence, blood, depressing thoughts and images, and lots and lots of death. Not a story you’d want the kiddies to read. 

Disclaimer: The events and characters in this fic are fictional; however, there are some characters that are based on the events of Balto and Balto: Wolf Quest and actual characters from those films, as well as major resemblance to the actual story of the 1925 serum run and of a certain forgotten hero of Nome. There are also some of my own personal fan-created characters in this story as well, so do not use them as your own without the author’s permission.

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Part I: Death and Life

The four-legged creature was on the ground now, collapsed from complete exhaustion; its fur was slick and dark, no longer the bright burgundy rust that it was. The dirt and mud of the once snowy ground had started to make the creature’s coat dirty and worn, almost to the point of being easily unrecognizable for what it really was. 

It was getting dark in the area of the mountains where the creature’s weakened form now lay. The area was untouched by the mid-summer warmth, continuously freezing in the high altitude temperatures of the peak’s position. The night sky was appearing above the mountain, stars began to make their debut for the evening’s upcoming moonrise as the quadruped finally pulled its mostly dirty white head from the ground. Its eyes were once the shade of natural skylight, now they had begun to turn into the color of deep dusk, almost like a black hole. Once the head was lifted up and looked at the cloudy sky above it, the light gray eyelids covered those eyes as the creature let out a strained cry between gritted teeth. Its white belly was nearly swollen, heaving every time the creature took a breath, mostly when its pace quickened every so often; although its legs could not move a single muscle, another muscle’s job was already halfway through.

The creature’s head returned to the ground with a slight thud, for this round of pain was over. A few quick panting breaths caused it to prepare for the next series of spasms that would soon grip through its body and eventually, it knew, it would soon take its life. 

Another few moments of waiting finally passed, and another surge of pain went through the creature’s body as if it had been struck by lightning. Another strained groan escaped its mouth, now opened with all of its sharp teeth bared. The rear part of the creature’s body now had something wet covering the white under-side of its tail – something clear and something that was clearly blood-red.

The pain the creature was experiencing was not unfamiliar to it, for it had done it many times before as a breeder, but it was certain that this would be the last time it would experience this wonder in this lifetime. However, the creature was unaware of the presence of another creature that was preparing to do its eternal duty. 

It was a creature with a coat made with almost fine ivory snow, and its emotionless stare shone like light topaz gems, stuck in the shape of almond eyes. It looked at the struggling creature in front of it almost without a sense of pity in its face, knowing deep down within that something miraculous was about to be brought into the world . . . and the natural cycle of life would sacrifice another’s. Although others may be upset by the fact that this snowy creature wasn’t willing to save this creature, one must always remember the legend of this creature . . . a creature that hunters seek for the promise of something horrific.

It is told that if you see a white wolf in the wild, death was close to you, soon coming to take your soul to the afterlife; however, there was another side to them as well, for just swallowing a drop of blood from a white wolf could make one live forever. People often looked for them as a last resort in very drastic circumstances, knowing very well that they risked losing their own lives if they were unsuccessful in retrieving the elixir of life eternal, but one never cared of the consequences if they actually received such a gift. 

The now dark-red creature had done a final contraction, splashing blood and water onto the snow and brown ground beneath its hind end. A shimmering sac lay behind the creature’s tail, still connected to the other resting creature by its umbilical cord. Unfortunately, the creature lacked the strength to move its head back to open the sac and clean the tiny spawn that lay within it. It was still breathing though, but it was weak – its demise was near at hand, but the creature inside the sac would be killed as well if not released from the other before it was too late.

Again, the white wolf remained still, standing over the resting creature and its sac as if it was hovering over, waiting for the older creature to take its eternal sleep. For a moment, the ivory lupine had a change of heart for the poor creature that had just brought new life into the world . . .  

Perhaps, perhaps this one should not have to die . . . for the life of the new child would also be taken . . . What wrong has it done?

Those thoughts encircled the lupine’s mind, but they were pushed aside suddenly once a slight choking sound came from the dark-burgundy creature’s mouth. It was clear that death was almost ready to take its toll on the dam, and there wasn’t much time left to spare the life of the baby that remained within the glossy sac. 

Acting instinctively like a mother wolf, the lupine’s attention went to the sac, using its teeth to tear it open and release the cub from its cold prison. The cord that connected it to the dam broke, causing the child to instantly wail and whimper in constant intervals and shudder violently as the chilled air first wisped against its slimy, wet skin. The white wolf licked the cub, drying it with gentle wipes of its tongue until it cried less and less.

Once the cub was calm, the lupine had a faint smile on its face, for it was glad to know that a life was saved; however, when it turned to the other creature, the smile faded as it gazed at the still form of the cub’s mother. The ivory wild dog lowered its muzzle to the dam’s chest, using its nose to feel for a heartbeat, but the chest was still – she was dead. No remorse could be found in the wolf’s eyes as it licked the mother’s eyelids down, for white wolves rarely show any emotion at all, but somehow, the sight of the now motherless – and most likely orphaned – pup had begun to send a change through this lupine’s heart. 

The pup, still shivering out of lack of warmth on the mountain ground, let out an almost mournful wail; clearly it got the attention of the lupine, for it pricked its ears towards the sound and gently licked the child as it soon was placed onto the wolf’s front legs.

This one’s starting to get colder . . . If it doesn’t find shelter and some milk, this child will die . . . and after I saved its life too . . . 

What can I do?

The white wolf pondered on what to do about the bundle of new life that had begun to cuddle up against its chest. The sudden touch of the cub made the wolf gasp in fright, for this feeling was unknown to it, but as if acting on instinct, the wolf returned the gesture with a nuzzle and a lick on the child’s back. 

This one’s so precious . . . so innocent . . . I know one thing: I can not let this child die without having a fair chance at life . . .

The mystical being sighed almost like a faint whisper, feeling so powerless as it felt the returning touches of the child in its silky legs. Unfortunately, the legends say that white wolves are unable to bear children, due to their power of sensing death and their blood of eternal life; however, white wolves could still choose a mate, breed and become parents, but any cubs born from one were considered as cursed, usually because they would easily be smelt as different by any other wolf that approached them. Many normal wolves shunned any pup born of white coats, casting them out of their packs without any hesitation; to lupines, white wolves were destined to become lone wolves, outcasts and meant to roam the world searching for their next mission to complete as the legendary sight of impending death. 

Suddenly, another gasp escaped its lips as its eyes began to glow a faint golden hue. A couple of moments passed before its topaz eyes returned to normal, and the wolf looked at the cub with new eyes, eyes wide with wonder.

This one’s meant for something more here on this world . . . This one’s destined for a major purpose . . .  

This one must live . . .

The white wolf let out a sigh after looking around the surroundings of where it and the cub were. All around them was light, nearly transparent whirls of falling snow, trees that lined the bottom of the mount that they were on, and not a single sight of anything that could save the newborn. 

All seems hopeless for this one . . .

Suddenly a strangely impossible idea hit the wolf’s thoughts. It was a risky chance, but in the end, the child would live; the main consequence to it, however, the consequence would be both a blessing and a curse. 

I must do it to save this one . . . or the future will be lost without this one here . . . Many lives will depend on this one’s existence . . . and I think this is worth the risk . . .

Looking at a nearby