took over Kiona's face. "...do I look alright?" She asked.
"No," Kanook said. "...no, of course not. We need to get you back to the cave."
He looked at her, noticing her injured shoulder. "...do you need assistance?"
Kiona shook her head and pushed Ayashi away from her gently. "No, no I... I think I can manage."
Kanook nodded. "Well we're going to watch you, you're out in front." he turned to Dartanion and Zephyr, who were standing a short distance away. "You two, get the food. We'll be eating when we get Kiona safely back home." He said.
The two wolves nodded and started to shoulder the carcasses.
Kanook turned back to Kiona. "I'm glad you're alright..." He said. "....Achak would've killed me if you'd... well I'm just glad you're okay."
Kiona nodded. "Thanks Kanook."
He smiled. "Come on Kiona, let's go home."
Only an hour later Kiona lay near the back of the cave. She was all alone but that was the way she wanted it, Kiona had always been a creature of solitude. Achak was the first one she'd allowed herself to get close to; the only one with whom she felt safe lowering all her defenses, both physical and emotional. Before Achak Kiona had never let anyone inside. She'd always put up a facade that everyone, including her parents, had believed was her, it wasn't.
Kiona didn't know why she was so guarded about her true self, but something inside told her to keep it close, and to share it with no one. This true self included her memories of abuse at the paws of her sister, the homicidal thoughts and intentions she would carry out if she ever saw her again, the anxiety that filled her every time she realized she was a mother, and the mate to an Alpha male, the fear that she would be inadequate, the almost unbearable pain that accompanied the memory of her firstborn child.... all these things Kiona kept close and lashed out at anyone who tried to work past her facade.
...but Achak was different and Kiona really didn't know why. She didn't know what it was that had attracted her to him, but she did know that it shouldn't have ever been. Why Achak had chosen her to be his mate was beyond her. His decision really didn't make any sense. Kiona mixed blood flowing through her veins . True she was part wolf, but she was also part dog. Kiona was quite proud of her family, indeed not one other accomplishment in her life could stand with the same stature as being a mate and a mother. Still, every time Kiona saw her children she felt she had weakened the pack. This didn't mean she didn't love them, quite the contrary, Kiona wouldn't give a second's though to giving her life for her children... but it was a realization she was continually pelted with anyway...
"It's not their fault..." Kiona thought. "...it's mine. Achak is full blood wolf... I'm the one that's part dog... I'm the one that made our pups wolf dogs like me..." She sighed. "God I miss you Achak."
No matter if it made any sense or not, the large black and gray wolf had stolen her heart and her soul and she didn't ever want it any other way.
Ayashi walked up then, disrupting Kiona's reverie. She smiled. "Hey, look who's awake." Ayashi padded over and laid down beside her friend. "I figured you'd be asleep."
Kiona shook her head. "...can't sleep." She said.
Ayashi smiled and yawned. "...well I can." She said. "That deer is good and I'm afraid I ate far too much of it." Ayashi paused for a moment. "There still some left if you want it Kiona. The pups and Shiro have already eaten, so you can have the rest. I don't think anyone else can hold it." Ayashi laughed, but Kiona just sighed. "You didn't eat much Kiona." Ayashi said.
"...wasn't hungry." Kiona said.
Ayashi smiled. "Well you might ought to eat something." She said. "We may not hunt again for a day or two."
"Look Ayashi," Kiona snapped. "I said I wasn't hungry. Can we please just drop it?"
Ayashi jumped slightly at Kiona's outburst. "Okay Kiona." She said. "Now what's up? ...what's wrong?"
Kiona sighed. "It's... it's your brother."
Ayashi smiled again. "You miss him too, huh?"
Kiona sighed and nodded. "Yeah, but... but it's not just that..." Kiona fell silent for a moment, then suddenly she jerked her and stared straight into her friend's eyes. "Ayashi, I need you to watch the pups for me, can you do that?"
A confused look came over Ayashi's face, and her ever present smile disapeared. "Well I guess so Kiona." She said. "...but why?"
Kiona closed her eyes. When she opened them again Ayashi saw Kiona's strength return, along with her resolve and infamous stubborness. As Ayashi gazed into those chocolate colored orbs she knew that Kiona would accomplish whatever she had in her head and this scared Ayashi because she thought she knew what Kiona had in mind.
"I'm going to join Achak." Kiona said flatly.
Ayashi sighed. "Kiona you shouldn't..."
Kiona cut her off. "Ayashi please don't try to stop me."
Ayashi sighed. "...but Kiona..."
Kiona cut her off again. "No buts
Ayashi... " She said. She stood up, favoring her left leg quite a bit. "I really like you, don't make me do something I don't want to do."
This statement caught Ayashi off guard. "What are you going to do Kiona, attack me?" She started to laugh, then she saw the seriousness of Kiona's expression.and fell short. "I'm sorry Ayashi." Kiona said. "...but I can't be without him. I don't understand why exactly, but without him I'm not whole. It's... it's like a piece of me is missing and I can't stand it. I'd rather risk his anger."
This statement surprised Ayashi even more. She went silent for a while as words failed her.... then she finally found her voice. "Geez Kiona... I'm your friend." She said. "You don't have to threaten me."
Kiona sighed. "I'm... I'm sorry Ayashi... I just... I get fixed on a goal and I can't see anything else... I shouldn't have said that."
Ayashi nodded. "Thank you Kiona... but will you please just listen to what I have to say?"
Kiona sighed. "Yeah... yeah Ayashi, what is it?"
Ayashi nodded and began. "Kiona I understand what you mean. I love Achak too. He's my brother. He's been at my side since I first opened my eyes... but what you have to realize is that Achak is more than just my brother or your mate, he's also our Alpha and he gave you a direct order to stay here with the pack.
Kiona nodded. "...but why do you think he did that?"
Ayashi sighed. "...because... because this Lytion guy seems very dangerous and..."
Kiona cut her friend off. "...and he didn't want me to get hurt, right?"
Ayashi nodded, but stayed silent.
"Well what happened about an hour
ago?" Kiona asked.
Ayashi sighed. "You... you almost died Kiona."
Kiona nodded. "Achak left me here so I wouldn't be in danger, but I'm a wolf; we're always in danger. If I'm going to be in danger I'd rather be at his side.
Ayashi nodded. "I see what you're saying Kiona and it makes some sense... but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do."
"Look here Ayashi," Kiona snapped "I'm not wanting you to justify this, or even agree with me. I'm going, no matter what anyone else says. That decision has been made and it isn't changing. What I'm asking you about is taking care of the pups. Now, can you do that for me or not."
Ayashi sighed. and was silent for a moment. "...you know he's not going ti be happy to see you..." She said.
"He'll get over it." Aleu said flatly.
Ayashi sighed again. "Alright Kiona... yeah, I'll take care of them."
Kiona smiled. "Thank you Ayashi. She said. I'm going to be leaving now.
Ayashi nodded. ""Be careful Kiona." She said.
Kiona smiled and pulled her left foreleg close to her side. "I will." She said. "..and don't worry Ayashi, everything will be just fine."
With that Kiona turned and walked toward the exit of the cave, trying to keep quiet to avoid waking the others.
Her ploy was doomed to failure though, because not everyone was asleep. A voice caught Kiona in mid step. "Kiona, where are you headed at this hour?"
Kiona turned to see Olathe standing just inside the mouth of the cave. "...busted." Kiona thought. She looked to the mouth of the cave, which was only a few feet away. "...and so close." She turned and smiled. "Hey Olathe, I could ask the same question."
"...you first." Olathe said.
"I'm just going for a walk." Kiona said.
"...can't sleep.
Olathe smiled. "..thinking about Achak aren't you dear."
Kiona sighed and nodded. "Yeah... I'm... I'm really worried about him."
Olathe nodded. "I am too Kiona."
It was quiet for a long while, the only sounds that could be heard were the insects chirping in the forest.
Finally Kiona broke the silence. "Olathe... was there ever a time that... well that when Cheveyo was alive that... that you did something that he didn't want you to... because you really cared about him?"
Olathe sighed. "You're thinking of going after Achak, aren't you
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