Finally got back for Page 11. Not bad, except for one sentence issue. "He permits me to not reveal who he is" doesn't sound quite right; it makes it sound like she wanted to not tell anyone, and he gave her permission.

Oh, and by accident, I misused Kaltag's use of 'adjectives'. He speaks in synonyms, not adjectives.

God, I'm an idiot. I just wrote like a few things about your last comment, and for some reason, it got deleted by accident. Oh well, might as well start over.

It was a bit of a challenge to try and see what was most important for my story. The characters (the Balto ones mostly)? Or the Phantom story itself? Those were questions I asked myself while writing it, and for the most part I wasn't sure which one was going to be favored over the other. I didn't just want to make a Phantom story with just Balto characters it in just cuz, that wouldn't be interesting. I wanted to give my readers a reason for them (Balto, Jenna, Steele, etc.) to be in this story, not just for them to play a part I give them.

Meaning the character personalities are what count for them. Whilst the Phantom story is there, and is still a major part of it, when it comes down to the Balto characters it's mostly about their characteristics, what they would do in these kind of situations, how they would clash in certain different scenarios, and how they could work in a world of the Phantom. It sort of makes it more intriguing as a whole, and with the addition of other characters, it makes for a rather interesting read in my opinion.

The other characters present may be created just for the story, but I wanted them to somehow connect with the others (since the universe they're in is created solely for animals) and focus on their personalities as well, and how they all change and develop over the course of the story. If any changes are needed, then they will be done only to advance the story, and not just willy nilly.

I haven't worked on any artwork or illustrations for my story, just the cover page and the unmasking scene, (which is of course here, but I'm not saying when) and I'm planning on making more, so expect the Box-Keeper to be there as well.

And yes, I'm always open to feedback, so if you have anymore questions feel free to ask. I'll be happy to oblige. No spoilers though.

Pages 7 and 8 definitely favor the Phantom of the Opera; to be honest they seem to all but bury any semblance of the Balto characters (with the possible exception of Steele, who was originally envisioned to be somewhat of a good dog gone bad). I realize that this is a combination of two very different stories, so I suppose that's to be expected and that the "Balto-ishness" is bound to come and go to some degree.

Starting to see a somewhat clearer blend with Steele at the start of page 9. The Box Keeper's description is a little puzzling (I don't suppose you have any artwork of her?), but from that part onward I get a decent transition into a very promising "ghost" story. I like the description of Box 5 toward the bottom of the page.

Page 10 definitely reads like more of a ghost story than a Balto fanfic. also, I think you made a slight mistake when Kaltag called the ghost a "corporeal" being; I think the word would be "non-corporeal" or perhaps "insubstantial."

This brings to mind one or two other possible stories I was thinking of, though, which I should remember to discuss with you at the next opportunity.

On one last note, it might help you get more readers if you replied to the comments here rather than via PM (assuming your replies are reasonably brief and simple). If you reply only via PM, then only those who receive the reply know that you responded. If you reply openly, then people just coming onto the scene know that you actively respond to feedback, and are thus more likely to leave it.

Hm. I think I posted my comments concerning page 4 as if they were about page 3 by mistake, but no matter.

Page 5: I'll admit I was a little worried about the way you did the casting; the versions of "Phantom of the Opera" I've read or seen before generally depicted the Phantom as borderline psychotic (albeit in a way one could forgive in light of his background). I had some concern that Balto's own personality might get buried therein, but from what I see of how you handle Steele - a bit more charming than in his original role but still with foreshadowing of that quintessential malice - I'm beginning to find myself a little more at ease.

Page 6: Here, I think, is where the subtle hints of "Balto" begin to appear more in the dialogue; remarks like "flirt later" inject just a touch of twentieth-century writing into the suave classic French air. I have to ask, though: were Nikki, Kaltag, and Star's careers - and their jump from them to managing an opera house - part of the original "Phantom of the Opera?" To be honest, they seem kind of forced, particularly as you have made it clear that the retiring manager had better options.

I also must amend the comment I made earlier, likening this story to my own "Balto's Treasure Island." The style - particularly in terms of descriptions - I see here are of a notably higher caliber than my own fanfic.

I'll have to take a fanfic of this size piecemeal, but up front I'm very pleased to see someone thinking along the same lines I did: combining the beloved Balto cast with a piece of classic literature. From one fan of the old school to another, I look at reading this story as an honor.

Page 1: Very good, although I did notice a rather significant typo: the year of completion for the theater is listed as being before its starting date. Apart from that, it's off to a great start. You make fantastic use of visual detail, and the opening bit about ghosts really evokes the classic "storyteller" feel. It kind of reminds me of some of Poe's material.

Page 2: The encounter by the guy working the furnace definitely gave me a chill, even knowing who the "ghost" really was. There seems to be some inconsistency over how widely the ghost stories circulated (one moment it sounds like all of Paris knew, the next you seem to say it was only known among the theatrical set, and then it seems that the extent must be too great for that to be so), but that's the only problem I see - and the latter half or so definitely evokes a classy atmosphere. I felt like I was reading "Wishbone" all over again - and I love reading Wishbone.

Page 3: I don't know how "Jennifer's" connection with the others in the theater was described in the book, but I would think that the theatrical set would consider a seamstress to be beneath them and be pleased that she kept her distance. However, I like how you wove her in (no pun intended), and I like the way you accounted for Steele's name in a humanized world. I can't wait to see how Balto's name fits into the picture.