Sorry, my keyboard is giving me grief. I meant page three.

i dont get what you mean by age tree, could you explain please haha

It's a wonderful story. Didn't notice punctuation errors this time, but the paragraph arrangement still makes it difficult. Also I noticed that you used a lot of visual details, whic is good. But in a context like that the part towards the end of [age tree feels rather flat. Just some ideas on ow to improve.

thanks jom!! i'd like to think it only gets better

the story line is so good keep it up