haha its fine DT, dont worry... i really just want the most critique i can get. I really want this story to be good.... im hoping for maybe must-see but thats a very high hope

So am I, I just... oh, well, I guess maybe I'm being too hasty in my conclusions again. I'll read the rest and see how it goes.

really jom? thanks!! why did you like and not like...

it good i give it a 5 out of 5 im christian so it made a conection for me

hmmm, well he was not really meditating. It was more like a vision in his sleep. Well i've always felt that Aniu was a spirit so... i merely expanded what she was a little farther. Its a metaphor the christian faith, i mean she's not just a deity. But opinions are opinions haha

The meditation, for one. Also, I've never liked stories that cast Aniu as a deity.

no they are in a later chapter, it is simply the first chapter really.
why did you not the spirituality of it?

I hate to make my comment a negative one, but on a spiritual level, I'm not too crazy about it. There's a lot of good, but also some that isn't so good.

On a writing level, it was very good. Very emotional, with a minimum of wasted words. But you might want to break up the paragraphs more so it'll be easier to follow. Keep it up, though.

And, uh, where were Kodi and Dusty in this?