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b.) Speaking of the history, the "escape the zoo" idea is a pretty cliche one. (And, by the way, wolves aren't strong enough to "break bars" to escape. ^^") I would suggest a different route. Perhaps she tried to escape a few times but couldn't manage it, or perhaps the humans only wanted her briefly to study and then released her themselves. Just a few ideas.

c.) I think you made Aleu just slightly OOC when she panics about the humans wanting to capture them. Aleu has no problem with humans. She once really wanted to be adopted, remember? I think that she'd stay, just be cautious of them. She'd probably be the one to reassure the pack.

d.) Just as an afterthought...did the even have zoos in Russia at in the 1920s-30s? (Aleu's pack technically went to Russia at the end of WQ, so...) I dunno. Again, maybe simply capturing to study would be more realistic. -shrug-

e.) ...Grammar in general. Just go over it once or twice and make sure you have capitalization and punctuation where they need to be.


Well, hope that helps. If you have any questions, feel free to ask; I'd be happy to answer.

No, it's not unheard of, but alas, it's not common, and it's not the only thing that could use improvement in this character.

HorseGirl901, I respect your effort to try and make a Balto-related character, but at the moment, there are many, many things you could do to make this character better. I am going to explain some of them. Please understand that this is not a personal attack and I am not trying to flame your character--I just want to help you make her a better and more developed character.


1.) The Design:

a.) The coloration. There's no such thing as yellow wolves of even golden wolves. The closest they can come is a cream-ish shade of white such as this: http://oi48.tinypic.com/wh0g83.jpg , which is still considered white.

b.) Like Mighty said, she looks like nothing more than a recolored Aleu. For a more unique marking design, I'd suggest looking up some photos of real wolves--all it takes it a Google search--and looking at their markings (though keep it simple, as this is a Balto-related character and the Balto wolves have pretty simply markings.) For a more unique build, rather than using blank "renders", draw her, and if you're uncomfortable with drawing, find a lineart on dA or something that's more along the lines of whatever you had in mind, or ask another artist to draw her. Heck, I'd be willing to give you a build if you gave short description of what you want.


2.) Bio

a.) Her personality and history don't coincide. At the beginning you described her as "loving humans", but then in the history you stated that she escaped the zoo and didn't really ever return.

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Not all the characters have to look like Aleu or Balto...

Kelsey --> It's not unheard of.

I don't believe zoos would just run out, kidnap a stray wolf, and put it in their habitat. Zoos usually bring in injured, semi-domesticated, or zoo bred animals.