one day in san francao charlie and itchy was just seting then annabelle pop out and say charlies said annabelle yea said charlie i got a missin for you said annabelle ok tell me said charlie your go to like this one said annabelle there`s a angel up here and he needs to have fun charlie smiles and say well where is he he`s comeing thowe the doors said annabelle the she vanish as charlie and itchy look at the door a blue whappit came in and walk up to charlie and itchy and say are you charlie and itchy the whappit says yea said charlie and itchy who are you said itchy my name is ed and you are itchy and you are charlie richt said ed thats right said itchy ok now lets have fun said ed i think im going to like this missin itch said charlie as the three dogs go have fun and other whappit want to belladonna`s HQ what the f(beep) said belladonna who are you my name is eduardo you must be belladonna yah thats me who sand you here said belladonna red sand me here he saided you need help said eduardo ok said belladonna so how bad are you well red sayed im like you said eduardo really now,lets see said belladonna as she pull a lever and a dummy come out.kill this dummy said belladonna as eduardo take out his dobble hiddenblade he cut the dummy in helf and he`s head belladonna smiles your perfect meanwhile ok that was so f(beep)ing fun said ed yah said charlie as they walk back to the flea bite so whats next said ed then sasha walk in and say hey who`s your new frend said sasha this is ed said charlie nice to meet you ed said sasha nice to meet you to said ed as they both shake hands well now we need bess to come and meet ed said itchy who`s bess said ed oh she`s my girlfrend said itchy you have a girlfrend said ed yah said itchy do you have a girlfrend charlie said ed yah its sasha said charlie do you have one ed yah said ed who is it said charlie well its annabelle said ed thats cool said charlie and itchy then bess comes in just in time hi everboddy said bess bess i want you to meet ed said itchy hello ed said bess hi bess said ed as they both shakehands well everyboddy knows everyboddy yah(nerves talk) said ed meanwhile bess is helping sasha at the flea bite. it was time to close as bess locked the door and sit wow thats what you do all day said bess yah lots of work ah said sasha yah said bess then sasha & bess have a waird feeling inside why im i in a heat said bess & sasha at the sometime then annabelle pop out and say you to,im in a heat to said annabelle wow you know what that means then said sasha yah said bess & annabelle lets do it toneight said sasha as they wright a letter to you boyfrends meanwhile ed,itchy and charlie want to the ampartment so this is your home said ed yah said itchy i think i going next door said ed why said charlie becuse im going to live there said ed well is annabelle going to get mad said itchy no i ask her said ed as ed use he`s magic to put he`s ps3 and a big screen tv(sony 3D tv)and bed,couch and more meanwhile belladonna is showing eduardo room this is your room said belladonna nice but it missing something said eduardo as he use he`s magic to put a ps3 and big screen tv(sony 3D tv something as ed but not the couch) thats better said eduardo well i hope youll like the place said belladonna yah i like it said eduardo as belladonna close the door she feel waird i think im in love and in a heat said belladonna as edaurdo start playing black ops when he saw he`s cuzin ID online he put he`s headphone and camera he and he`s cuzin was in a privit chat hey said eduardo hey said he`s cuzin meanwhile ed was online on he`s ps3 talking to his cuzin well lets play nazi zombies, ill invit you said ed ok said he`s cuzin meanwhile sasha,bess and annabelle done with the latters ok we all done said bess then belladonna comes in its belladonna!!! said sasha dont worry i come in peace said belladonna what do you want said annabelle well i got to tell you something said belladonna ok said bess well.....im.....in...a....heeaatt said belladonna and im love bess,sasha and annabelle are in shocked well...who are you in love with said annabelle this dog name eduardo( in a in love voice) said belladonna well all four of us are in a heat said bess meanwhile well ed where dead at level 15 said eduardo yah but good kills right said ed just then both dogs got a letter hey ed i got a letter said eduardo me to said ed as they read the latter its says go to the park said ed its here to ill meet you there said eduardo as they both trune off there ps3 and go at the park hey ed said eduardo hey eduardo said eduardo annabelle and belladonna came out edaurdo!! said belladonna ed!! said annabelle what said ed and eduardo at the sometime why are you with him said belladonna why are you with him to said annabelle ok i know its seems crazy but where kinda fight eachother sometimes said ed and i know i work for belladonna and he work for annabelle but we both like one then said eduardo yah what is that said belladonna we both like to play black ops said ed f(beep) yah said eduardo yah said ed fine said annabelle ok we get to tell you something as annabelle and belladonna take a brathe and say at the sametime were in a heat said annabelle & belladonna at the sometime ed & eduardo where shocked well what do you two big boys say(in a sexy talk) said annabelle & belladonna as the two girl dog takes ed and eduardo hand see yah ed said eduardo see you soon said ed then belladonna & eduardo went to belladonna`s bed and ed & annabelle want to annabelle`s bed and the four are makeing love meanwhile charlie is laying down on the couch and itchy at the bed then they hear a knock come in said itchy it was bess and sasha,as they walk in sasha want to charlie and start kissing him and bess want to itchy and start to kissing him and sasha and bess say to them were in a heat said bess and sasha at the some time the two cupell start makeing love to the next mornning they stop makeing love at 12:00 and woke up at 11:00 and say that was great said charlie you can say that again said itchy so do you like that itchy said bess yah i do alot said itchy do you like it to charlie said sasha yap said charlie meanwhile that was so good said annabelle yah that was sadi ed did you like that said belladonna yap alot said eduardo as sasha,bess,annabelle and belladonna want to the flea bite at the sometime hey said sasha hi said bess hi said annabelle hey said belladonna well how was it last night said annabelle it was so fun said bess it was so good said sasha it was great said belladonna mine was the bast said annabelle then they all have there hands are holding there head while there`s a hart on top meanwhile ed got online and invit eduardo in the chat room hey said ed hey said eduardo so how was it said ed it was good said edaurdo and you it was great said ed then itchy and charlie came in ed who are you talking to said charlie with my cuzin said ed i didnt know you have a cuzin said itchy well i do said ed can we talk to him said itchy um sure said ed come here and meet my cuzin who is it said eduardo its my new frends said ed as itchy and charlie walk to see ed cuzin hey said itchy my name is itchy hey said charlie my name is charlie hi my name is eduardo hey you two look a like said itchy yah but where not the some coler said ed and by the way itchy he evil and im good oh really said charlie yah said ed hey cuz ill meet you at the flea bite ok said ed see you there said eduardo as ed,itchy,charlie and eduardo want to the flea bite. at the frount door lets go in said charlie as they walk in they saw sasha,bess,annabelle and belladonna oh shit said ed the girls are here said itchy f(beep) lets go but quitly said charlie as they walk one step eduardo step on a chip the girls saw them and say hey over here! said sasha dam it! said edaurdo as the guys set next to the girls so did you boys like what we done last night said annabelle yah(in a nervas talk) said ed good said bess as bess leand on itchy and robb his belly some thing to ed,edaurd, and charlie. by the look of the guys face`s they are starting to love it few mouth later annabelle lives with ed now,bess and sasha lives with charlie and itchy and edaurdo lives with belladonna. next story is when everbody but not eduardo and belladonna goes to new york to see ed old frends next story is call: when all dogs go to heaven meets ovlier and company
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1. There are no paragraphs, it's just one big text wall mess that hurts my eyes to read.
2. No capitalization to tell when it's the start of a sentence or a character name.
3. Spelling... It just needs work...
4. No punctuation whatsoever. Add it. A LOT of it.
Work at it. This needs a complete overhaul to even be called written language. A text wall with everything mingling together is not even close to a fan fic. Also, lose the swearing, and don't try to say the bleeped out words isn't swearing, because if it has to be bleeped it is. This is advice not only to this fic, but to every one you've written and probably will write.